Coping with Grief as a Member of the Healthcare Workforce

“Please, fellow physicians, don’t cry in empty rooms, on stairwells, or in locker rooms—cry in public and let the patients and staff heal you and see you are human.” – B Siegel

As a member of the healthcare workforce, you may experience grief more than the average person. Grief isn’t just limited to death. You can grieve for your health after a debilitating illness, grieve an important relationship now lost, and so much more. Coping with that grief is vital for your mental health and to avoid burnout.

Grief comes in all shapes and forms and differs from person to person; it is part of what makes us human.

Compassion Fatigue

A 2012 qualitative study conducted by interviewing 10 physicians caring for women struggling with substance use disorder in the inner city observed, “Listening to patients’ narratives of traumatic events can provoke intense emotions such as profound sadness, helplessness, frustration, and anger. This emotional response is often termed vicarious trauma.”

Vicarious trauma can be a normal part of work for physicians. However, if vicarious trauma is left unchecked long enough, it can lead to a specific kind of burnout – compassion fatigue.

Are you dealing with burnout symptoms in your healthcare profession? See how SafeHaven can help support you.

Compassion fatigue is avoidable. Frank Ochbery, M.D., the psychiatrist who pioneered the study of PTSD, says about the phenomenon: “Compassion fatigue develops over time – taking weeks, sometimes years to surface… your ability to feel and care for others becomes eroded through overuse of your skills of compassion.”

Coping Strategies for Grief

Allow yourself to feel your emotions.

“Many of us in medicine are taught composure as a virtue in providing care to maintain clear thinking and calm decision-making. However, we’ve confused monk-like equanimity with an unhealthy stoicism. We’re not trained in the art of meditation or mindful, compassionate detachment or how to observe our emotions.” –Lalita Abhyankar, MD, MHS.

Feeling your emotions does not come naturally to many of us. But suppressing feelings can be detrimental to your overall mental health.

Carve some time out in your schedule to identify your feelings. Is there shame mingling with your feelings of grief? Guilt? Disappointment?

Notice what sensations happen in your body when these emotions happen. Does your chest feel tight? Do your fingers tingle?

Investigate further and find the root of these emotions. Are you blaming yourself? Your teammates? How can you be compassionate towards yourself for the way you’re feeling?

Read this great article from Psychology Today for a more in-depth look at how to processing your emotions.

Change your perspective.

The physicians in the 2012 Vicarious Trauma study relayed the process of changing their role from “rescuer” to “observer”; framing their role as someone there to bear witness, rather than to personally cope with constant loss. Although it’s difficult to not get involved in patients’ lives, it is necessary to establish boundaries.

Get the emotional support you need.

“Physicians, acknowledge your grief, talk about it, and remove the burden of compartmentalizing it. There is beauty, joy and connection on the other side.” – Lalita Abhyanker, MD, MHS

As we know, dealing with death is part of the job. However, you are not alone. Your team members have gone through the same thing, and talking to them about the events that have left you feeling bereft can be healing.

SafeHaven’s Peer Coaching aims to provide a strategy to avoid compassion fatigue and burnout by speaking with someone who knows what you’re going through. Working with other clinicians in a supportive and non-judgmental environment can help to develop coping mechanisms and manage stress with the goal of developing a healthy work-life balance.

Practice Self-Care.

Remember: we are not supposed to be invincible. Recognize what you have been through and take time to care for your needs. Check out our blog “5 Ways to Practice Self-Love” for some ideas on recognizing and caring for your needs.

Grief is difficult to deal with, and it’s important to remember you’re not alone. Feel free to reach out to SafeHaven for more resources and support.

If you or someone you know is in crisis please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 9-8-8 or the physician support line at 888-409-0141.